BUSY AS A BEAVER

I have been busy as a beaver. I love my babies and would not give anything in the world for them but, damn...... I am tired. My boy has really clung on since his daddy has been in jail. I think he feels like if I leave I aint gonna come back for a while, so I have been giving him lots and lots of attention. My daughter... I think is just scared that her daddy isn't going to come back, but we have been marking the calendar and I have been reassuring her that he will be back. She did get to talk to him on the phone. Tuesday I had such a busy day I went and saw him at the jail. I took my kids both to the doctor. I went to file for K-tap (more government assistance)and dropped my daughter off at my aunts, so that she could have a sleepover with her cousins.

The Jail Visit

I went in with the attitude of a very disappointed, mad wife that was going to just let him have it. Well, I sort of did I don't know if anything I said sunk in or if anything I said really mattered because what matters right now are my babies. He walks in the room in a very becoming orange jumpsuit (his color all the way!) Immediately he starts crying. Damnit! that was not what I wanted to see or hear! Of course he's in jail he is gonna tell me everything I want to hear. He is going to feel sorry for hisself. He is going to cry and want sympathy. I have been in this situation before I will not let him rattle me or make me feel sorry for him. It has happened, he did this to himself but most importantly he did this to my babies!!!!!!! I will work through this. I am a good mother and I believe I am just now realizing how much of a good mother I am. I do now realize I don't need a man to raise babies it helps but I have had fun, my kids are clinging on to me and I am keeping them happy. My mama has helped me tremendously but basically I think she is trying to stand back a little and show me that I can do this on my own she lets me do it my way and I think it is working. Right now kids are in bed they have both had baths, both ate a good supper and usually at this time me and my hubby would just now be getting them ready for bed.
My Health

I went back to my doctor he says that the palpitations I was experiencing were anxiety attacks. He told me that sarcoidosis doesn't cause pain. He told me to double up on anxiety medicine and rest plllllppppppt. I have found a friend online here and we e-mail. She has set me up with a dr. in Lex. Ky that has some background with sarcoid YAY! I will keep you updated on that.

MOM

I am sorry I was late in your car I rushed home to get you the car. When I got to N*** A**** was asleep. I packed him in and let him sleep for 15-20 minutes (he was wore out and hot)I know I should've come straight home, but when I get around N** and everyone we like to visit and chat and it is hard to get away. It is also hard with two kids and managing time. I am sure that you already know this. I was never good with curfew growing up. I guess, I still aint! I will do better. Thank you for helping me so much! I really wish I had some way of showing you how much I am thankful but I am better at expressing that type of stuff written than spoken. This may change.... this miracle drug I am on- is starting to make a difference. I think I am becoming the old me! I hope so cause' I miss her!

Well I am tired. I will try and post again tomorrow. It is harder now to blog, I have less time I am a single mom for a month and I am going to make the best of it.
Good night all